I am Jamaica's husband, Personality's founder, Foursquare's comm director, CFCC's evangelist, and more.
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Life's Journey Archives
February 5, 2008
Commitment
Filed under: Life's Journey
Mark Batterson shared a takeaway from some time he spent with Rick Warren yesterday. He said that we grow by making commitments. "You don't grow to commitment. You grow through commitment."
What a powerful perspective on how to do life. I think the less we're committed to something, the more we commit to anything. I am reminded of the familiar phrases we often hear when someone is struggling with an addiction. "He should be committed." "She was finally committed after the last arrest." Commitment is definitely an answer to overcoming some of life's greatest challenges, but imagine how much more meaningful life would be if commitment helped guide our life instead of resuscitate our life.
What am I committed to?
Who am I committed to?
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January 21, 2008
The Haiti Duffle Bag
Filed under: Life's Journey
While in Haiti last week I kept a "duffle bag" of thoughts and circled one key statement that summarized or stuck out most each day. The following are highlights from those thoughts. I am still sorting through the culture shock of being back and what life means moving forward. I have been on many missions trips and it seems like the older you get the wiser you get toward wanting to help and being able to help. The struggle continues.
They give us their best
This was obvious from the moment we arrived. They prepared the best food for us, even though the average Haitian eats three meals per week, and usually no more than one meal per day. They wore the best clothes they had, which were usually better than anything I brought to wear. The house they provided for us to stay in was the nicest place in town. The sad thing about them giving us their best is that I'm afraid I didn't give them mine.
They appear to be carefree and happy
They drop everything to walk and talk with you. It was like we had an entourage everywhere we went. I realize a lot of this is because we were the only white people in town, but their carefree and happy posture was their way of loving, laughing and learning.
They love to laugh
In spite of their obvious setbacks and suffering, they love to laugh. Really laugh. Gut-busting laughs. Laughs that make you laugh at their laughing. It was easy to joke around and smile together, even though we spoke different languages.
Continue reading "The Haiti Duffle Bag"
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January 6, 2008
Home(Less) Christmas Dinner '07
Filed under: Life's Journey
Shortly before Christmas, Jamaica and I joined up with our home(less) group friends (also mentioned in our Christmas letter) and we went out for pizza dinner at the famous Casa Bianca, just a few blocks from our usual spot at the Eagle Rock McDonald's. Many were invited but only a handful were able to make it. It was great to share a meal with friends!
I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but I just now got the photo. The camera it was taken with was in hawaii for the last three weeks with its owner!
Pictured here, from the left and around the circle to the right:
Karin, Chris, Brian, Dottie, Laura, Candiss, Jamaica, me, Cathy, Ed, and Larry.
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November 17, 2007
Considering Adoption
Filed under: Life's Journey
Jamaica and I have talked about adoption for the last several years and more recently it has been a hot topic for us. Seems like we can't escape it.
- Our friends Brian and Jenny adopted a child from Guatemala this past year.
- Our friends Kevin and Abby are adopting a child from Ethiopia next year. (See inset banner image.)
- I was a groomsmen in a wedding last weekend and two of the groomsmen I stood with had adopted children.
- One of the homeless people we hang with each week shared her adoption journey with us last month.
- Today is also National Adoption Day.
Hmmm....
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October 14, 2007
The Voice In My Head, Part 2
Filed under: Life's Journey
The same voice in my head from last week on my flight to LA also showed up this past Friday morning. It wasn't Jamaica this time, but it could have been.
It was 6:15 a.m. and I was walking to my curb-parked car after yawning my way down the elevator T.G.I.F.-ing.
I was five steps from the car and a homeless guy asked for a few bucks.
"I don't have anything in my pockets."
"Some spare change?"
"I don't have any."
The truth was that I didn't have any money in my pockets. I had the money in my day-planner.
The homeless guy scattered off looking for another pre-dawn giver.
The voice spoke up.
"You liar. You told the truth, but not the whole truth."
"You have twelve dollars in your day-planner and you know it."
I sat there for 60 seconds before rolling down the window.
"Hey man, here you go."
I gave him all of the cash I had on me and found out his name is Darryl.
"Have a good day, Darryl."
"You too."
I really don't have any cash on me.
I need to pay attention to the Voice.
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The Voice In My Head, Part 1
Filed under: Life's Journey
On the last flight of my multi-city trip last week, I shared it with Michael, a colleague I work with at Foursquare. It was a late-night flight from Cincinnati to Los Angeles. Traveling west, we would be getting more time and more tired with each passing hour.
Our seats were not booked together. I scored a bulkhead exit row right by the entrance to the plane. No seats in front of me. I could be the first one on and off. Nice.
I was in boarding group one because when you sit in a bulkhead, they want you on first to find a place for your bag. Michael was in group nine. His seat was five rows back. He walked by me as he boarded the plane and jeered at my location.
I was on the phone with Jamaica sharing the excitement about my seat assignment.
"Where is Michael sitting," asked my darling wife.
"A few rows back. He's got an aisle, he's fine."
"You should trade seats with him."
"I'm not trading seats. Besides, he's already got his bags stowed."
"You should give him your seat. You know that is the right thing to do."
After a few minutes of thanking God for my wonderfully supportive wife, I got Michael's attention and offered up my seat. "No thanks," he said, "I'll be fine." I insisted. Twice.
Ten minutes later we were both sitting in the same exit row. No one had checked in for the seats in my row. It was now our row.
I need to pay attention to the Voice.
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October 13, 2007
Random Quotes On A Saturday
Filed under: Life's Journey
I've been jotting several quotes this week that deserve more than a pithy ponder, but alas inspiration and motivation continue to compete with availability and priority.
- "People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed." Samuel Johnson
- Give people a way to belong and measure their significance. Patrick Lencioni
- Practical atheism: we believe God exists, but he doesn't in what we do. Craig Groeschel
- "Intentionally add value to people every day." John Maxwell
- "Systems create behavior." Andy Stanley
- "Redemption costs more than creation." Jack Hayford
- I want to be stunned by humility.
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October 4, 2007
Getting Out the Guitar
Filed under: Life's Journey
I pulled out the guitar again after six years of collecting dust and started taking lessons this month. I forgot everything I learned so I'm starting all over. I want to learn how to play because it's a discipline outside of my normal learning path. I don't want to be a rock star or even play in public. Sometimes I wish I did want to be the next Jimi Hendrix because I'd be a little more motivated to learn. Learning without significance is frustrating!
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September 11, 2007
9|11
Filed under: Life's Journey
One of the things I love about blogs is the archival of thought. From the immature and insignificant to the more meaning filled meanderings, it's cool to have a digital reference point for a brain that thinks all sorts of things.
Today was no exception as I re-read something I wrote shortly after September 11, 2001. I originally scribbled these thoughts on a piece of legal paper, then found it a few years later and typed it on this blog on September 11, 2004.
Reading this six years later is a little awkward. It feels vulnerable, naive and trite. Yet at the same time it takes me back to that horrific day in the history of America. My generation's version of "the day JFK was shot."
Today during our weekly "reflection" time, each of us on the Personality team shared exactly what we were doing when we heard the news of 9|11. Pretty powerful stuff.
Also very wild to remember that Jamaica and I were on a plane two weeks prior to 9|11 (same airline, same destination, same flight number) that went from Boston (en route to LAX) and crashed into the World Trade Center.
This picture is one we took overlooking "Ground Zero" from our room at the Millennium Hilton, where we stayed last month on our way back from Israel and Istanbul.
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August 2, 2007
Goodbye Israel, Hello Istanbul
Filed under: Life's Journey
Jamaica and I just finished traveling around Israel with about 15-20 of the convention staff. We had a great time unwinding from the convention stress and getting to experience the country. Jamaica has done the whole Israel touring thing once before, 13 years ago. I have been here three times in the last eight months to setup all the logistics for the event, so it will be nice to actually get outside beyond the convention center and hotel room.
Aside from the ferocious weather--120 degrees in some parts--we enjoyed learning about this historical land and its precious people. It doesn't take long to see why this region is so contested, not the least of which is because Islam, Judaism and Christianity all hold this place sacred!
Jamaica and I left the tour group this afternoon (they fly back to the U.S. tonight) and hopped a 2-hour flight to Istanbul. After a grueling wait in the customs line at the airport (hundreds of people, little air conditioning and two customs officials working!), we were on our way to the hotel. We're on the 12th floor of the InterContinental overlooking the Bosphorus Sea--the body of water that separates Asia and Europe, with Istanbul on both sides.
We're here until Monday and then we start our journey back home after stopping in New York for a few days.
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July 26, 2007
The Palestinian View
Filed under: Life's Journey
With the convention ending yesterday and our touring that begins tomorrow, Jamaica and I had a free day. We decided to take a trip off the beaten path and get a little different perspective on life in Israel. Through some connections Jamaica had made back in the States, we made a trip to the West Bank. Hebron to be exact. Just saying the words "West Bank" is making a political statement because it refers to the West Bank of Jordan and Israel doesn't recognize that as the West Bank--it's actually east Israel.
Jamaica and I boarded a Palestinian bus (without air-conditioning!) early in the morning and made the 30-mile, two hour trip to Hebron. We were lead around the city for several hours getting to know the other side. And boy was it another side. If ever the quip that says "there are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth" rang loud and clear, this would be it. Among our observations:
Continue reading "The Palestinian View"
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June 21, 2007
Hanging Out At McDonald's
Filed under: Life's Journey
Last night Jamaica and I hung out with a group of friends at the McDonald's in Eagle Rock, a city nestled between Los Angeles and Pasadena. Every Wednesday night, a group of people--I've been a couple times, Jamaica a few more than that--spend time connecting and conversing amidst the cheap food and sincere smiles.
The cool thing is that this McDonald's is also an evening hub for the locals without homes. It's interesting to hear the stories about life on the streets. The pain. The joy. The weather. The crazies.
I'm not exactly sure what may come of this collaboration of the home-less and the home-bound, but it's interesting to experience the evolution of friendship among people outside of MySpace, LinkedIn, or Facebook.
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June 10, 2007
Being Vulnerable
Filed under: Life's Journey
Aside from my own pride and arrogance issues, I can't figure out why I love it when others are vulnerable, yet I have such a difficult time being vulnerable myself! I have a long way to go in this category and I'm convinced that until I can learn the discipline of being vulnerable--and I do believe it is a discipline--I will never be able to fully benefit from its rewards.
Mark Batterson had a post today about vulnerability that hit me like an angry piñata swinger without a blindfold.
Mark gave "10 random thoughts on vulnerability," and I've modified a few of them for the sake of application to my own life and work (Batterson is a pastor in DC). I've also converted the exclamation points at the end of Mark's original thoughts to be periods instead. The lessons were already challenging enough, I didn't need exclamation points to make me feel even worse.
1. People will only be as vulnerable as their leader.
2. Embrace your imperfections.
3. The happiest and healthiest people laugh at themselves the most.
4. The greatest freedom is having nothing to prove.
5. It's a good thing to cry in public.
6. It's not how much you know, it's how real you are.
7. Quit trying to be your title, and try to be yourself.
8. I'm unique and special, but not any more or less than the next guy.
9. Be open to correction.
10. Hang out with people, be available.
I think #1 is the point that jumps at me the most, especially in light of the two teams I lead at work every day. Jamaica will read this and want to put #5 on the bathroom mirror.
My oh my do I have a long way to go.
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May 15, 2007
Big City Travel Boy
Filed under: Life's Journey
I live in Los Angles. I used to live in Chicago (also the place where I met my wife). I really like New York.
Over the last five days, I've lived in all three.
For some reason, this year has brought an unusually demanding travel itinerary, and it feels like it is all happening at once. It kicked into high gear a couple weeks ago in Orlando, and then to Atlanta, and then back home for a few nights before heading to Israel for three days. Two days later (last Friday), Jamaica and I took off for Chicago to attend and celebrate her sister's college graduation. Today we parted ways as Jamaica flew home to Los Angeles and I flew on to New York.
On Sunday I will leave from New York and go back to Israel for a little more than two weeks as we wrap up the details for the Foursquare Convention this July. Whew.
And all of this as I attempt to stay merrily married, run a company, and keep the communications team going as we're in the midst of facilitating two large events among all of the other usual responsibilities. I'm grateful to be working with two teams that are both stacked with great people!
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April 1, 2007
Yosemite Retreat, Rule of Life
Filed under: Life's Journey
Jamaica and I had a great time last weekend up in Yosemite National Park. We went up on Friday and came back on Monday. The primary purpose of the trip was to have a sort of spiritual retreat. At the beginning of this year we planned and put two of these on the calendar--one in the Spring and one in the Fall. It's a great way for us to get out of the craziness of city life, now more than ever since we live literally in the heart of downtown Los Angeles, in a loft we bought in August of 2006.
Yosemite at this time of the year is perfect because it's off season. Great weather, minimal tourist congestion and plenty of empty trails to get lost on. On Sunday we walked about 12 miles, including a four mile walk to Mariposa Grove to see the giant sequoias. I'm not a big nature nut, but there is something hugely humbling when you're standing right in front of it. It sure puts some perspective on things!
We spent Saturday separated from each other, as we loosely followed a pattern set out by John Ortberg. The idea was to be silent and somewhat secluded as we individually reflected, pondered, and prayed through heart issues. This was more about getting to know God better and less about getting God to answer a specific request (although no complaints if he did!).
I also spent some time working on a "rule of life" to guide my days, weeks, months and years. Simple steps I can take to make room for an ordered heart which ultimately helps to live out a more loving life.
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January 1, 2007
My 2007 Daily Prayer
Filed under: Life's Journey
Here is my daily prayer for 2007. I borrowed heavily from last year, hoping to continue a regular posture of dependence, gratitude and wisdom.
Dear Lord, help me TODAY as I…
- Express gratefulness, the foremost quality of a trusting disciple
- Pursue the ideas that require faith and fear to go head-to-head
- Determine what I can eliminate from my to-do list
- Ask, “Is this sustainable?”
- Learn to discern between busy-ness and fruitfulness
- Encourage others in their strengths
- Respect and honor Jamaica, never getting too familiar with her
- Find evidences of grace in Jamaica
- Learn to be where I am, not where I am not
- Learn to rest and relax
Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you today, without reservation and with humble confidence, for you are my loving Father. Set me free from self-consciousness, from anxiety about tomorrow, and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others, that I may find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing you. I realize that every hunger that entices me in the flesh is an exploitation of a need that can be better met by you. So Jesus, I trust you. May my inner freedom be a compelling sign of your presence, your peace, your power, and your love. Let your plan for my life gracefully unfold one day at a time. I love you with all my heart, and I place all my confidence in you.
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December 30, 2006
Year End Reflection, 2006
Filed under: Life's Journey
I ended my day last Friday (December 22) and checked out of work for the remainder of the year. For the most part, I have been unplugged with the occasional email clearing. So many others are off too which makes it a pretty light week. Jamaica and I enjoyed Christmas in Los Angeles, our second time since being married that it was just the two of us. It was quite nice! We took a trip to the ocean to watch the sunset. If we can't have the cold and snow we might as well relish what we do have!
We attended a funeral just outside of Bakersfield on Wednesday, before driving up to Mendocino (150 miles northeast of San Francisco on the coast) that same day. I am sitting in a little Bed & Breakfast, just a block from the ocean. We arrived late Wednesday night to a complete ghost town - not a light in sight. Come to find out a huge wind storm had knocked out the power 12 hours earlier. Fortunately, the outage was fixed by the morning.
Continue reading "Year End Reflection, 2006"
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October 10, 2006
Nine Years Later
Filed under: Life's Journey
Today was my last day of school. That's it. No more. It is finished. I am finally done with my undergraduate work and will receive my degree in December.
I started going to college in 1997, just a couple years out of high school when I was living in Chicago. I never thought it would take nine years to finish!
I also never realized I would start my first company at age 16, my second company at age 20, and be married at 22! These are not excuses, just fun parts of the scenic route!
Jamaica won't let me talk about grad school for at least a year. Doh!
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December 31, 2005
My 2006 Daily Prayer
Filed under: Life's Journey
I've been "writing" this prayer for several weeks after finishing Brennan Manning's book, Ruthless Trust. This prayer is a culmination of thoughts, prayers, and writings I've collected from various sources.
Dear Lord, help me TODAY as I…
- Pursue opportunities to spend time with people who want relationship (horizontal and vertical)
- Cultivate a relationship with Jamaica that deals with real things
- Determine what I can eliminate from my to-do list
- Fail faster so I can succeed sooner
- Align my calendar/agenda to reflect who I really am
- Remove hurdles for my team to succeed
- Remember to encourage and thank people
- Allow prayer to accompany every decision
- Ask, “Is this sustainable?”
- Express gratefulness, the foremost quality of a trusting disciple
- Allow my appetite for infinity to disturb my complacency
- Hear the music of the moment, only heard right here and now
- Learn to discern between the "Father’s business" and human "busy-ness"
- Learn to discern between matters that require simple, faith-filled prayer and those that require extended fasting/warfare
- Learn to rest and relax
Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you today, without reservation and with humble confidence, for you are my loving Father. Set me free from self-consciousness, from anxiety about tomorrow, and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others, that I may find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing you. May my inner freedom be a compelling sign of your presence, your peace, your power, and your love. Let your plan for my life gracefully unfold one day at a time. I love you with all my heart, and I place all my confidence in you, for you are my Abba. Jesus, I trust you.
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October 20, 2004
Let Go
Filed under: Life's Journey
I'm learning what it means to let go. It's not fun. It seems passive and non-leader like. It doesn't make sense when the moments come for me to exert my opinion, idea, or brilliance, for me to instead shut my mouth and let go.
But that's what I am supposed to do. My opinions, ideas, and brilliance are only that to me. To others, they may be bias, brain farts, or stupidity.
George Washington wanted to be a general in the British army real bad. When the time came for him to get what he had aspired to all his life, he instead gave up that power and gave it over to civilian leadership. The same leadership that would later dub him President of the United States.
Maybe letting go is a good thing.
It might cause a few losses in the interim, but I'm trusting that the faith substituted in the absence of exertion will prove greater return in the long run.
Not because I want to be President, but because I want to be more like Christ.
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September 11, 2004
Early Tuesday Morning
Filed under: Life's Journey
Today is 9|11.
I found this recently from something I wrote three years ago...
Early Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001. Jamaica and I were waking up to our one month anniversary of being splendidly married. My cell phone had abruptly stifled what was completing a decent night's rest for both of us. I didn't answer it. As we struggled to find meaning to the day ahead - convincing our newlywed brains that there really is more for us than being horizontal lovers - we fought the covers off and said hello to the honesty of the reflection above the sink.
Continue reading "Early Tuesday Morning"
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August 10, 2004
Doing the Right Thing
Filed under: Life's Journey
When is doing the right thing ever wrong? Does providing for the family come after or before doing what is right? When the issue is not about integrity or morality but about rightness and responsibility, which fork in the road is the correct one to take? Perhaps the route where faith is needed more could serve as the guide?
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July 29, 2004
The Sabbath Misses Us
Filed under: Life's Journey
An essay by Nancy Gibbs in the August 2 issue of Time magazine is a poignant reminder for the rhetorical prioritization of the Sabbath. Unfortunately, Gibbs has not discovered a radical new way to take that Seventh Day of rest, but she has attempted to give us a little origin for how we have slowly lost our conscience for it. No, the Sabbath has not disappeared from us. We have disappeared from it.
I think it would be interesting to see some research that tracks personal debt, material accumulation, obesity, and the breaking up of families alongside the subtle ousting of a personal Sabbath. If we could not shop, eat out, or work one day a week, the input/output of our economy would be cut by 1/7th (presuming all days are equal).
And if our personal debt loads were less, our homes were smaller (because we didn't have so much stuff), and our waistlines were thinner (because we ate out one less day a week), how would that affect our quality of life? Would we live longer? We would have closer families with better communication?
I am not suggesting that taking a Sabbath is the solution for all of life's problems, but what if it helped with yours?
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July 27, 2004
A Thought From 1999
Filed under: Life's Journey
Browsing through some old files on my computer, I found a file called "Thought.doc." It was created on August 24, 1999 at 9:17 PM and it reads:
As another day comes to an anticipated close, I am constantly reminded of my pleasantly puzzling life. A life that seems to have no end - and probably never will. As I wake up each refreshing morning, I think to myself, "Is this the day that will change the course of my long awaited future. Is this the day when all my diminutive problems will disappear into the vast past?" It seems as though life continues to throw you into an unwanted environment. A place where happiness is only a dream and "problem free" means nothing more than "buy now pay later."
How is one to find a different way of life? Or is this the manner in which it is to be continued? Where is the fun, adventurous, care-free lifestyle that everyone else seems to be living? My desperate attempt to find an undeniable meaning for my life seems to only bring me unwelcome sorrow. I turn to close friends for answers, only to be drawn into their myriad of uncertainty.
Why do I constantly put myself in the same repetitious situations? Can I not learn from my inconsistent fallacies? I desperately need a solution. Do I just give up and start all over? Or do I reason with what is presently going on and look ahead and not back?
[end]
Whenever I read old stuff I wrote, I'm frightened by how much I haven't changed and even more thrilled at how much I have.
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May 7, 2004
Similiar Pursuits
Filed under: Life's Journey
I want to support people fighting for the same causes as I do. What are my pursuits? Who are the people fighting for them?
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